And They Hummed of Mystery

Preach, Taystee.

Lately, I've been reflecting on a lot of the YA books that I've read, and on how the category typically treats the topics of sex, innocence, purity, and romantic affection. I've shared my woes before in previous posts about the nonsensical perfect first times that teenage heroines experience, and I've challenged the idea of magical young love where everything works out in end. While these are issues in YA that I've been able to recognize throughout the countless novels I've poured through, I think it's time we really look at how we, as writers, should be addressing sex in our stories.

I'll be honest. I don't read a whole lot of YA contemporary these days. Unless it's something that has been personally recommended, I don't actively seek out novels in this genre because it doesn't really appeal to me at this point in my life. I do, however, read my weight in YA fantasy/sci-fi/adventure. No matter what the genre is, YA is a very progressive category, and you can really see the changes it has gone through over the years. However, sex seems to be an exception in that progression. When The Hunger Games was released, every heroine was almost expected to be completely naive and virginal, like Katniss Everdeen, when it came to sex. In fact, it was barely even mentioned, much less displayed. Even now, many of these protagonists don't have their first sexual experience until the final act of the story, and that is usually with a love interest whom she trusts, adores, and has endured endless hardships with. There are a few that break the mold, but most of them hold up these ideals of waiting for love and having minimal partners and keeping their limited sex lives completely private.

Sure. That is the ideal in the minds of a lot of people. We all know that YA is not immune to the scrutiny of parents, administrators, and just any adult with something to say about those overly hormonal teenagers. Sex is still something that has a lot of boundaries when it comes to what is considered acceptable to show and to talk about. Many parents don't want their children reading books where sex is present, much less prominent. This likely comes from the hopes that their own teens will maintain the pure nature of characters like Katniss, and refrain from sexual experiences. For a multitude of reasons, there's a sheltering attitude built around these chaste heroines, and anything that deviates from that could cause any kind of controversy.

But here's the truth. Sex is a part of teenagers' lives, whether they're having it, talking about it, or just endlessly wondering about it. It is an undeniable presence that they're going to be faced with in some way or another.


And here's another truth: very few teenagers are going to have sexual encounters that compare to the picture perfect, sugar coated scenes that bring many of the YA characters we love together in a magical way that doesn't hurt, isn't awkward, and never results in any sort of shame or physical or emotional consequences. It goes far beyond the fact that we never see these characters pause to ask questions or use any sort of protection. They're saving the world, so who has time for condoms, right?

Here's one way to look at it. There are two types of teenagers reading these novels: those who have had sex, and those who haven't. I know. Duh. But one half of this demographic is going to be wondering what his or her first time will be like, while the other half may still be trying to figure out the emotions and repercussions of his or her first, second or one hundredth time. An author should be able to speak to both of these groups, and make an effort not to set up ridiculous and flawed expectations for their virgin readers, while also reaching out to those who have had sex, in whatever capacity, expressing reassurance that he or she doesn't need to feel ashamed or regretful or defective if their sexual history can't measure up to what they're reading. Sex is weird, okay? It's a situation in which physical and emotional insecurities are laid bare in front of another person, open to their judgment and scrutiny. It's a way to use someone, play games with someone, and even humiliate someone if that is the desired effect. Yes. It can be 'magical'. No. It's not always as big of a deal as people make it out to be. You can sleep with one person or twenty or two hundred and you are of no lesser value than someone who remains abstinent.

No matter how clear this can be, there will always be critical eyes ready to shut down a book that dares to suggest something other than a path of purity. Of course, everyone believes what they are going to believe, but there needs to be a wider representation of the teenage sexual experience. As of right now, it's pretty one sided. There's only vague, implied true-love-sex or no sex at all, which is wildly inaccurate in the throes of real life.


So I'm not a parent. I've never had to raise up a young human and teach them how to value themselves and what not to listen to in the buzzing world around them. I have, however, been that young human. I was taught that sex and intimacy were reserved only for the safety of a marriage and that anything else was wrong and cause for shame. Though I'm sure it wasn't intended, this was supported by a lot of the YA books I read when I was younger. There has been an endless debate regarding the accessibility to sex education amongst teenagers, and the same arguments can likely be made for the accessibility to sex in YA. If we display characters who like sex, have sex beyond that one perfect first time, and talk about sex outside of conservative boundaries, are we 'permitting' the act itself? Encouraging it? Making it out the be the 'norm'? Of course, there is no black and white answer. I think we can make a rather strong conclusion that if teens want to have sex, they're going to do it regardless of what books they read.

However, there is certainly a lot of progress to be made in the ways the sex is portrayed. Because right now, we're not really keeping it real. I want to read about heroines who are not defined by the boy she loses or already lost her virginity to. It can be nothing more than a small detail in her life. I don't want to see virgins on pedestals and I certainly don't want to see anymore obscure, unprotected love scenes that do nothing more than play it safe and build impossible expectations. Just like with every other social, ethical, and cultural topic addressed in YA, we have a responsibility to our readers to write with honesty, sensitivity, and a general understanding of the vulnerable stage of life that our target audience is in. We've all been there, and we always need to be conscious of the messages we send out to those finding solace in our words.

We all know that young adult books aren't just meant for young adults. I'll be reading them until the day I die because they have so much to offer and they are just too good to ignore.
However.
I can't be the only one who has noticed that the young protagonists in these stories don't always match the age assigned to them. Don't you ever feel like you're reading about a thirty-year-old in a teenage body? Especially in scifi and fantasy, these are high stakes stories that require quick thinking, rational decision making, and a good amount of selflessness. Even most adults struggle with these in the regular world, yet we're reading about seventeen and sixteen-year-olds who always seem to pull it together in plenty of time to save the day. Granted, a lot of these characters grow up in much more gritty and savage environments that force them to grow up quickly and resourcefully. Many of them are masters in weaponry and warfare before the rest of us could even pass algebra. The teenagers we were or are and the others we've known are probably pretty different from the heroes and heroines we read about.


So. It's an observation, but is it a problem? Does is matter that books in YA can sometimes fail to reflect the real personalities of its target audience? They build lives for characters in which love is real the first time, you know who you are by the time you're sixteen, and the sex is always perfect. I'm not implying that real teenagers are nothing more than a bunch of degenerates. Believe me, I think they're more valuable to society than anyone gives them credit for.
But.
Even if a character is facing battle fields or evil wizards or quests through alternate dimensions, they are still going to hit the universal obstacles we all endured when we were teenagers. Puberty. Hormones. Pimples. Crushes. Body Shaming. Self Doubt. These are all things that tripped us up as we trudged through those high school halls, so why do so many YA heroes and heroines get to skip right past the awkward first dates and sudden growth spurts? How do they look at the world and just know what the right answer is? And how-seriously, tell me how-do they get to lose their virginities under stars and waterfalls and sunsets to the person who they will without a doubt love for all eternity? I know there are plenty of reasons why nobody wants to spend time reading about teenage woes in the middle of a war, but we can't just ignore them. We can't just slap an age on a character and refuse to adapt them to the characteristics of such an important detail. Teenage brains aren't even fully developed yet, so it's almost unfair to create these adult characters and expect them to properly represent the age group they are supposed to portray.


But here's the thing. We really, really don't want the angst. It's a pretty universal conclusion that the whole brooding, pissed off teenager does qualify as a marketable protagonist. We know the extents to which authors must go to bend for the business of publishing, and they have to create characters that readers will flock towards and cheer for throughout the trilogies and film adaptions. They also want to produce a story that will attract a wide range of readers outside of the YA community.
So is there some sort of balance? Maybe a compromise?
Maybe you don't even see this as a problem.
For me, as a reader, I find it a bit deceptive and even a bit lazy to neglect the teenage mind when writing teenage characters. People in this age group are complex, complicated, and fascinating if you pay the right kind of attention to them. It is entirely possible to present believable young adult characters who don't have to mold to that insufferable stereotype.
A perfect example of this is Cassie Sullivan from Rick Yancey's The 5th Wave. She manages to bridge the gap between real life teenager and YA heroine while roping us into a story in which she breaks our hearts, makes us laugh and more often than not causes us all to say 'same'. Yancey took the expected sarcastic nature of teenagers and mixed it with Cassie's own personal brand of wit and snark. Through her, he addresses what it's like to have to fend for yourself when all you've know is the guidance of your parents. He displays the awkward, tense, confusing way she falls in love for the first time while also taking her through her own process of self evaluation. She learns and grows throughout in order to adapt to the apocalyptic environment, but she still retains the youth that so many other young protagonists seem to lack.


And while not every YA teenager is going to show his or her personality through sarcasm, there are plenty of other ways to display youth. One of the main components of YA novels in the love story, which is can often times be oversimplified by authors treating their protagonists like adults. Love is an intricate concept that takes the years of life experience to begin to understand. It is not something that automatically makes sense just because the swoon factor calls for it, and teenage relationships are not as straight forward as some YA novels would suggest.
Along with falling in love, these characters face countless situations in which they must consider the abstract ideas of right and wrong, death and life, grief and failure, and more. The teenage brain is in a process of adapting to these abstract ideas, so the very thought of them handling all of these situations in the same way an adult would is simply unrealistic.
And maybe the core problem here is that's it's just not fair to them. Teenagers offer a unique perspective on the world, and they should be able to see themselves properly represented in the books they love. And for the adult readers, we should be able to find common ground with them as we reconnect with our time in that age group. Forever young at heart, right? We shouldn't create a standard where actual, realistic teenagers aren't worthy of a reader following. We should not only display, but celebrate the facets of their developing minds.

To put it simply, my summer reading list kicked ass.
Now, as we're all about to trek our way back to classes and homework, (Except for those of you who have real jobs. You mean not everyone stays in school for all of eternity?) I'm excited to look back on the best of the fine selection of books I read under this summer's hot sun. If you're looking for books that are going to rip your heart out, keep you up all night, and change the game, I got you. Don't worry. I won't spoil anything. Just go read them so we can all fangirl together.



Numer One:
Places No One Knows
By: Brenna Yovanoff

I don't even know where to begin when describing this book. It takes the dynamic of high school drama and flips it on its head, challenging the concepts of popularity, love, and identity. It asks the right questions through the strong, relatable voices of two beautifully crafted protagonists. The story follows a high school girl named Waverly, who has perfectly crafted her public identity to appease the expectations of her friends, family, and social world. At night, Waverly fights a nasty case of insomnia, finding rest only when the light of a special candle transports her to the side of Marshall Holt, a burnout who sees past the mask she wears in the halls at school. Together, they break down each other's shells, and are forced to face the parts of themselves that everyone else refuses to see. It makes for a captivating story of finding love and accepting yourself.
I found myself enthralled not only because of the intriguing way dreams and insomnia are used to bring the two characters together, but mainly because of the honesty displayed in regards to the high school environment. It breaks down the politics of teenage hierarchy and gives us layered characters who really feel like people instead of just teenage cutouts falling in love. This book has unique, enchanting elements that are grounded in humanity as two people try to navigate through youth and fight past the influence and scrutiny of the world around them. The writing is just the right amount of poetic, and it carries a wisdom that makes this book a must-read for anyone who has ever felt lost in a sea of faces. I didn't want it to end.



Number Two:
Dark Matter
By: Blake Crouch

All right. I'm no science person. Like, seriously. I don't have a clue. However, I could not put this book down. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of time and research that went into crafting this intricate story of multiple dimensions. It takes us on an unbelievable journey with Jason Dessen, who has been kidnapped and thrown in to a world where his life is not his own. His wife was never his wife and his son was never born. Jason then embarks on what is essentially a wild goose chase in hopes to find his own world and reconnect with the family he loves.
The best part about this book is it creates a plot with a limitless amount a worlds. That opens up exciting opportunities to explore what society might have been like under different circumstances. In his search, he encounters a frozen tundra, a city destroyed by disease, a futuristic landscape, and more. The imagination applied in this story is incredible, and it mixes well with the intricate scientific details that move the story forward. It also reflects well on the ideas of regret and choice and all of the what if's in life. Jason's character growth takes him from a man unsatisfied with the life he chose and forces him to face realities in which that life never even had the chance to be. It's a creative scifi adventure that builds tension perfectly while also bringing about challenging themes and ideas that we all can relate to as we wonder about what could have been.



Number Three:
And I Darken
By: Kiersten White

This book has gotten a lot of attention since its June release, and most of it is aimed at this novel's heroine. Told as the female version of Vlad the Impaler, Ladislav Dragwyla is a bad ass leading lady who would make Furiosa proud. She is fierce, cold, brutal, and everything else that princesses aren't supposed to be. This is a dark, intricate story about politics, kingdoms, blood and war, but it is also a coming of age tale in its own right. While Lada is in the middle of the chaos of kings and fighting and conspiracy, she is still just a child. We get to see her learn of the injustices of sexism from an early age as she's thrown into a world where men rule and woman obey. We get to watch as she discovers the stages of womanhood and attraction and even a little bit of love. I really appreciate this effort to remind the reader of her naive youth, because sometimes I feel that YA forget that its protagonists are still technically children. White wasn't afraid to dive into the depths of growing up, which made Lada a character that we could admire and fear and relate to all at the same time.
Another driving force of this novel is the fascinating juxtaposition between Lada and her younger brother, Radu. While she is vicious, he is gentle. Kind. His power and conniving comes from his wit and ability to manipulate and read people, while Lada's comes from battle skills and raw ferocity. While the plot and details of the world are fascinating and so well researched, it is the character study of these two people that really makes this one of the best YA releases of the year. You really feel as if you know them by the end, and I cannot wait to read more. If you're looking for a feminist novel with a punch in the gut and the heart, look no further.



Number Four:
These Broken Stars
By: Amie Kauffman and Meagan Spooner

So this is an older one. It was released in 2013 and I can't believe it took me this long to read it. This book is the real deal, complete with well rounded characters, a brilliant love story, and a unique storyline that takes us through an uninhabited planet after a colossal shipwreck in space. There is humor. Heart. Aliens! What else does a reader need?
Similar to Places No One Knows, this story is told through the dual perspective of the male and female leads. Tarver is the soldier. Lilac is the princess. It may seem pretty straightforward, but the complexity of these characters and the relationship that evolves between them is a truly rewarding experience as they grow, change, and come together in the name of survival. They challenge each other in multiple ways, each a force of nature colliding with the other. I was rooting for both of them the entire way as individuals, and I loved seeing them gravitate towards each other as the story progressed.  Their adventure is heartfelt, exciting, heartbreaking, and every part of it leaves you longing for more.



Number Five:
The Way I Used to Be
By: Amber Smith

Sometimes, we end a book with excitement or exhaustion or utter adoration. Our emotions finally come together to create a finale that makes the reading experience one unlike any other. That's how it goes. Sometimes.
With this book, it wasn't excitement or anything of the sort that overcame me after I reached the final page. It wasn't anything that I was used to, to be honest.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Smith's debut, it's a YA contemporary that chronicles the aftermath of sexual assault. It speaks with a gut twisting honesty that forces the reader to face the reality of the emotional, psychological, and physical demons that rape victims live with on a daily basis, even after years have passed. It dives into something that the world doesn't really talk about, and I often found myself having to turn away at times because the pure, unjust sadness of this reality just kept hitting me like a brick.  It was confirmed to be a work of fiction, but it's undeniable that human beings all over the world have had similarly horrifying experiences, many whose stories will go left untold out of fear, shame, or distrust in a system that has made it so difficult for these individuals to come forward.
Needless to say, this book has brought about these heavy thoughts that have stuck with me ever since I read the last sentence. It's not only an important story that can reach out to anyone who has been through something similar, but it's also for any reader in a culture where rape and assault tend to be swept under the rug. It raises awareness on rape culture and also on the deep impact that something like this can have on a person's life. I recommend it to anyone. It's tough stuff, but it's a necessary read.

Needless to say, it's been a good summer. This fall is going to bring a whole new batch of new releases that will likely leave us all in awe, but for now, get yourself to the bookstore and read all of these lovely words. Prepare to cry, laugh, and fall in love.

Relationship status: Mentally dating at least twelve fictional characters.

Everyone has their dating deal breakers. It's a way to filter through the masses of potential partners, especially in the age of online dating and social media. Even a picture can cause us to turn away, like the presence of a cigarette or a bathroom selfie or a man bun. Whether you're just swiping through Tinder or testing the waters on casual dates, you know what you're going to stay away from.

The same can be said for books.
For anyone who frequents the nearest Barnes & Noble, you know what it's like to stand in front of the new releases and know that you're not walking out of there without one or two or ten of these beautiful hardcovers. You judge the covers. Read the description. You look for authors you recognize and read the blurbs for the ones you don't.
But how do you choose?
Well, like dating, we know what we're interested in what it comes to reading, and we also know what we're not interested in. Sure, the plot may sound unique and the characters appear to be promising, but the first few pages may be able to tell you if this one is worth taking home.

Here are some of my book deal breakers for YA:

The Mean Girl

I think it's been well established that high school is comprised of much more than just your typical hierarchy Regina George formula. At one point, this was a really intriguing trend in YA, like when Lauren Oliver released her debut Before I Fall. However, after countless similar novels put out the same story arcs with the same cast of characters (The Queen Mean Girl, The Remorseful Mean Girl, The Sidekick Mean Girl, The Queen's Jerk King, The Closet Jerk/Nice Guy Boyfriend, The Redemption Boy, and The Nice Girl), I no longer want to read about main characters who rampage through the story with cruelty serving as a mask for their deep insecurities. Yes, the deconstruction of the mean girl was fascinating the first couple of times, but it has been very overdone. There are plenty of other aspects of the teen years that have yet to be fully explored, and this exhausted trope has become redundant and predictable.


The Manic Pixie Dream

In both fantasy and contemporary YA, there have been many charismatic love interests strolling in with their perfect hair and quirky smile to turn the protagonist's world upside down. Think Ramona Flowers or Summer Finn. This character's job is to bring a light into the story and to show the MC how lacking his or her life was before they showed up. MPD's are often a reflection of what we dream of when it comes to a perfect love life, and they are not typically an accurate representation of a real person.
I'm sure we all have our own version of the manic pixie dream in our minds. I would love to find my own Augustus Waters to take me to Amsterdam and speak sweetly of his love for me, but my problem with this type of character is that it sets up a plot that moves forward under the implication that the main character's life wasn't good enough without the MPD. Not only is it an unrealistic romance, but it also takes away from the important message of loving yourself and understanding that your worth does not increase once this person has swept you off your feet. I want to read about two characters who are gritty and dimensional and complicated, because that is what's real. Manic pixie dreams just don't give me anything to believe in.



The Obnoxious Narrator

Writers know that voice is one of the most important factors when it comes to grabbing the reader's attention. You're supposed to be able to get a pretty good feel of the main character within the first few chapters by the way they bring you into the story. Obviously, when writing characters who are in their teens, authors have to work with the tendencies of the age group in order to create someone who is believable and relatable. If you were anything like me when you were a teenager, you were sarcastic as hell with a heaping side of angst.
Sarcasm is a language within itself, and I've seen it done to perfection (Cassie Sullivan from Rick Yancey's The 5th Wave trilogy is the queen), but sometimes it feels like the author uses an overabundance of sarcasm to make up for the lack of voice given to their characters. It can be a great piece of their personality, but I need more than that to get on board with a narrator constantly going off track to make snarky remarks. It gets to a point where I'm annoyed, distracted, and uninterested in anything other than getting this over with. Show me their heart, their pain, and tell me who they really are beyond the overused sarcasm.  If I come across a character who can't do that, it's unlikely I'll make it past the first chapter.

Often times, it's easy to see how the books we read reflect the current events and topics of the world we live in. Whether it's our obsession with reality TV, the flaws of the class system, or cultural divides, young adult literature has probably addressed it in one way or another. The category serves well as a vessel for ideas and as an amplifier for young voices weighing in on the issues of society.

And now, in 2016, few issues are more prominent than feminism.

When I was growing up, I was surrounded by children's movies and shows in which a prince saved a princess and the greatest arc of the story was the dazzling discovery of true love. I wore elaborate dresses for Halloween, idolizing characters like Belle and Aurora as I dreamed of that perfect prince coming to sweep me off my feet. Who didn't just die when Hercules was willing to sacrifice himself in order to save Meg? And oh my goodness when Aladdin took Jasmine out to 'show her the world' it became #goals before #goals were even a thing.
Many of us grew up with this general recipe of heroes and damsels and formulaic romance. We swooned over The Notebook, watching that rain scene over and over and over. Jack Dawson gave us all the feels, causing countless sexual awakenings with his hair flip and drawing skills. Everything we were exposed to was heavy on the romance, from Disney to Barbie and Ken to whatever we watched when our parents weren't looking. This seemed to present us with this idea that being validated by a man was some sort of ultimate goal.

And then came the world of YA, which is generally written by women and has been constantly developing and adapting when it comes to gender roles, male and female stereotypes, and, of course, the ideas behind feminism. It took the readers who grew up believing that their greatest accomplishment would be to become a half of a prince/princess combo and gave them leading ladies like Katniss Everdeen and Ruby Daly and Viola Eade, who, among many others, defy these outdated concepts and give an authentic life and strength to the female character. These women hold their own, fighting in wars and saving loved ones and just being flat out brave and badass. They certainly do not need a man to give them value, and their love stories are only a small part of what makes up their characters. YA has been ahead of its time in many ways, creating these powerful heroines that perfectly counter the damsels we loved and thought we needed to be.


As feminism gains power with each passing day, YA writers are moving right along with it.  Heroines no longer need to be innocent virgins when we are introduced to them, and they have come to embrace their sexuality (which brings about a whole new topic, which I'll probably write about in the coming weeks). Genders roles are all but abolished, as the women are often the ones taking on the biggest burdens and they end up saving their male counterparts. They operate on an equal level with the boys, and don't tend to get caught up in handsome jawlines and shiny muscles like they used to. Today's heroines are tough, witty, intelligent, and do not have time for anyone's shit. If they made an army of every badass leading lady on the bookstore shelves today, no one on the opposing side would stand a chance.

While this a great way to create role models for young readers and to help break the rusty chains of sexism, there are also a few things I've noticed in my recent reads that threw me off as a reader, writer, and a woman. I just finished a new release that prides itself on its timely themes and feminist attitude. It featured a heroine who, while she did fit into every requirement of a strong, able female character, I just could not relate to or even get on board with. You see, this girl was so strong, resilient and smart that she almost stopped feeling like a real person. Everyone around her put her on a golden pedestal and could only ever talk about how amazing she was, and every man was practically throwing themselves at her feet. She always had an answer and was hardly ever in any state of worry or even concern. The only problems in her life were brought on by other people, making her seem better than everyone around her. Sorry not sorry, but this is not only bullshit because no one is that perfect, but it completely defeats the true purpose of feminism. I've seen this happening in quite a few of the YA books that have been coming out in the last couple of years. It's as if the authors are so hellbent on upholding their strong characters that they are afraid to let them have their flaws.


So, bring in Viola Davis (slay). Her character on ABC's How To Get Away With Murder is the absolute embodiment of what a true feminist character is supposed to look like. Even if you haven't seen the show, you've probably heard that Annalise Keating is one hell of a badass. She dominates in every court room she walks into, always seems to be six steps ahead of everyone else, and knows how to put you in your place. Honestly, that's #goals for you right there. She has such a powerful presence that commands to be paid attention to and Viola delivers an on point performance in every scene.

However, that's not all we get to see. Along with all the slaying, the show opens up a part of the female powerhouse character that is rarely seen or even addressed. We see this woman absolutely broken down. I remember in season one when she sat down at her mirror and took all of her makeup off and was exposed with nothing but her natural beauty. That was such a powerful moment because all women know the work we put into creating a presentable face for the world to see. But here she is, still beautiful and desired without any sort of shield or mask. Throughout the rest of the series, we've seen her laid up with a bottle of liquor and a bowl of ice cream. We've seen her in various states of defeat, finding comfort that only her mother can give or dealing with the regrets from her past in questionable ways. One of the most interesting things about Annalise is the fact that she does not always have the answer. She makes mistakes. She uses people, turns them away, and even endangers them. She is entirely flawed, which is something that makes her real and something that I feel has been lacking in some of the latest YA heroines.


As a woman, you come to see just how complex true feminism really is. Yes, we are strong. We are brave, intelligent, beautiful beings and yes, do not mess with us. BUT. It is not required nor healthy that we only be proud of the words used to describe us if they would also be used to describe a man. If you wouldn't call a man emotional, does that mean it's a quality that a woman should hide away or deny? Because here's a bombshell for you: we are not men, and we need not display only the tough side of ourselves in order to be worthy in a world that favors men. The things that separate us from men are what make being a woman unique and special, and we can't be afraid or ashamed of the wide range of qualities that make us the women that we are. For me, yes, I am strong. That does not mean I am not allowed to lose my shit or cry over nothing or be afraid. I can be fixing cattle fences and watching football one day and guzzling wine during The Bachelor the next. Women are intricate, and it's impossible to represent feminism without displaying that.

Because that's a major point of feminism: being proud of womanhood and owning it. A female character is not less because she is emotional or indecisive or capable of making a mistake, because every single woman who ever lived has made a mistake. I don't want to read a book and feel as though the heroine has reached some level of womanhood that I will just never achieve. That's not being honest to young readers, or any readers for that matter, because such a thing does not exist.
I may not have started a revolution or brought down governments or changed the world, but I've faced my own challenges in my twenty-two years. Through these challenges, you better believe that I did not always make the right decisions, if I managed to even make a decision at all. I screwed up at times, and had nothing left to do but shovel ice cream down my throat and leave the house in pajama pants. It's just how it goes, and that does not disqualify me or anyone from being a strong woman. The same applies to characters in YA, because while this is no longer the age of lovesick Disney princesses and Ryan Gosling make out sessions, it is truly the age of women finding themselves and being proud of who they are, which goes far beyond any notion of being perfectly put together like the character in that book. Everyone has flaws, and reading about characters who are just too righteous to be real is exhausting. Young readers need role models who they can see themselves in, and writers need to be brave enough to create them.

This is an age old topic. The concept of beauty has brought about countless discussions and controversies over the years, and it feels like no one is immune to the glorification of the 'ideal' human form. Young adults are particularly vulnerable to body image pressure, and the unrealistic standards set by models and actresses are more than enough to provoke insecurities and body shaming. These are likely a permanent part of the media that young adults are going to be exposed to (at least for now), but these standards and ideas should not transfer into their favorite books. While YA literature is known for its empowering nature and strong, relatable characters, it is often times guilty of only presenting heroes and heroines of a particular body type.

Of course, none of these characters are supermodels, but they do stay within certain guidelines. Let's paint the typical picture. If you pick any random heroine out of a hat, here are some likely physical traits she will have:

• White
• Thin (sometimes described as abnormally small or birdlike.)
• Short, but not too short
• Brown or blonde hair (of some variation. Dirty blonde is a popular one)
• Toned (this is usually paired with being in good physical shape, because she's likely a runner or has some sort of hobby or skill that helps her stay fit.)
• Pallid 
• Devoid of body hair (because of course everyone shaves their armpits in the middle of the apocalypse)

Now that I have recovered from my weekend adventure in Chicago, it's time to reflect on my very first BookCon experience.

This year, the BookCon lineup was pretty impressive, headlined by authors such as Alexandra Bracken, Leigh Bardugo, James Dashner, and so many more. McCormick Place was packed as thousands of people lined up to be a part of this massive gathering of book lovers, and my friend and I didn't really know what to expect when we arrived. It was a lot to take in as we got in line with hopes to meet our favorite authors and see all that BookCon had to offer.

I'm going to be totally honest about my experience, as there were things that I loved, but also things that left me feeling pretty disappointed. For anyone thinking of attending this event in the future, it will be helpful to have to have a realistic expectation and a better idea of what you're going to encounter. There are certainly some things I wish I would have known.

Let's start with the positive. Here's what I loved:

• It is always incredible to see the kind of following that young adult literature has. Seriously, there was an insane amount of people there, and it was awesome to see everyone so excited to meet the people who gave them their favorite characters and stories. Book lovers can always find something to bond over, whether it's a recent release or a beloved YA boy or a book that changed our lives. We're all here because we love the world of YA and we know how powerful it can be. As a writer, it was incredibly inspiring to be surrounded by passionate readers who have loyally supported this ever growing genre. 

• We were able to meet Pierce Brown (author of the Red Rising trilogy) at his book signing, and it was by far the highlight of the day. Okay, yeah. He's absolutely adorable and that smile...well, anyways. He was so kind and gracious when meeting everyone, and made a point to spend time with every person who went through the line. My friend and I went up together, and he was just so easy to talk to and was more than willing to take pictures and listen to our rambling. We left his signing in a joyous daze. It was perfect. 

• It can never be said that BookCon doesn't have a lot to offer. There was always something going on, with a diverse selection of panels and numerous in-booth signings along with the regular autograph sessions. It is impossible to get bored there with the enormous showroom filled with hundreds of different exhibitors. We were able to get deals on new books, pick up some arcs, and collect an ungodly amount of free tote bags. You could tell that all of the exhibitors were excited to be there and wanted to talk to you and get you involved.

• I just think it is really important that events like this exist. It's a chance for readers of any age to be in a place where you just can't help but feel a sense of belonging. I mean, there is a good chance that a lot of these people are just as introverted as I am, finding their solace and comfort within the pages of their books, and there's such a pure validation that comes with being in a room filled with a community like this one. It is a truly unique experience.